Hello my people. Howdy? How have y’all been? It’s actually been a while I penned down something on here so I said to come gist with my bras today. Are you readyyy?
So I’ll be 22 in a week and I thought; ‘what better way to put myself in a great mood this year than to reminisce on my last year’s birthday’ like I promised here so that’s exactly what I’m doing. Okay now… Let’s go!
Last year precisely on the 20th of June, I celebrated my birthday, laying emphasis on the word ‘celebrated‘ cos that’s exactly what happened. Up until last year, I’ve never celebrated my birthday or had anyone go out of their way to celebrate it, in fact my birthday was a day I absolutely did not like (If you’re an OG on this blog, you must have read this post I wrote two years ago, if you haven’t check it out).
Anyways last year was a game changer. I’m not sure now if I should give you all the details or just the necessaries? Uhuhhhh, let me continue my gist first.
I had always known what I’ll love to dress up as for my birthday photoshoot ever since I turned 20, there’s just been this perfect idea forever recurring in my brain begging that I do justice to it. Didn’t do justice on my 20th birthday cos that birthday was not even it…I also didn’t have a phone so who was going to see the pictures if I took them?
Even before the Covid-19 started in Nigeria around March and the lockdown hit hard in April, I knew that I wanted a gorgeous femme fatale look (a femme fatale is a stunning, mysterious woman who’s very powerful and not to be messed with…visit Google for more). Lets digress a bit though, do you remember how I trekked all the way from Uyo to PH during the Covid-19? No? Haaa! (Read here please)
And we’re back…
I knew for certain that I could body the look but it was almost May and we were still locked down at home. No pocket money equaled no spare change to collate my extra-extra idea however I still planned on maintaining beauty and having a great day from my angle on my birthday.
It was a fact at this point that the shoot which I’ve been looking forward to was not going to work out and still being at home, I kind of lost hope and decided that I’ll ‘celebrate’ my 20th, 21th and 22nd birthdays all at once by 2021 (i.e take my self out and buy cake as was my custom (until my 2019th birthday😖)
I’m pessimistic most of the time and generally just tired of the birthday thingy, however the year just had a good feel to it. It was not the first time my birthday would be falling during a holiday, only that this time most of my siblings were home too. I also knew better than to have expectations as we all were not ‘cashfident‘. The plan was to create the content in my head and on my birthday, remove small change from my Piggyvest, order the Big Kitchen’s Bundle of Joy pack (Burger, chips,fried chicken and sausage) and eat till I was satisfied.
Told you I took a mini course on phone photography last year, didn’t I? (Read the gist here if you’re just hearing about it) so I was really ‘turnt’ up about doing a birthday look for myself even though not the initial femme fatale idea. After several trips back and forth Instagram and Pinterest, I knew what I wanted to do already (and thanks to my recently deactivated Instagram page, there were lots of home shoots inspiration and I was ‘super duper charged’ to follow through…meanwhile, just started a new IG account, follow me pretty please)
This new inspiration was tooo weighty on my head/mind that I had to draft the entire shooting plot on a piece of paper to feel better and I instantly did…lol. Took some time in May to look out for the picture props, poses inspo, outfit, book the iPhone we’ll be using to shoot and all. The new idea was to portray the femme fatale look in a more Nigerian, cultural and times-realistic manner and with the help of my Tom & Jerry siblings, it worked out perfectly. (These pictures were shot, styled and directed by me and my goons)
Za birthday ‘Day’
Woke up with the usual anxiety and all it’s accompanying feelings on the 20th despite having prayed seriously against it the previous night. I just made up my mind to enjoy my day no matter what.
I was prayed for by the parents during the morning devotion and subsequently after, the family rendered some joyous birthday renditions in their cracking voices and it made me laugh so much. Then the calls started coming in, the messages too, prayers, the online notifications et all. It had been over a year since I had the birthday calls so it felt entirely brand new (remember I didn’t have a phone in 2019?).
Even though I was given presidential treatment as the ‘celebrant concerned’ (to use my phone on a Saturday morning in a Nigerian home), I still had to work in the kitchen and chop vegetables and prepare other ingredients my dad would be using to cook ‘my birthday soup’…lol, can you imagine?
My dad’s custom is to cook a pot of soup for the birthday celebrant as his gift although his job is really easy cos he’ll just be putting everything into the pot after another person has done the hard work ( Side eyes Sir...lol). I was the first child to celebrate my birthday at home in a long while so it still had a new feeling to it.
After we had had lunch of my Dad’s oriental Edikaikong soup with its assorted obstacles (can’t remember what we had for breakfast), I went back to my phone, replying messages and taking calls. Got bored at some point and started cajoling my dad to take me out or buy me food and he retorted that he had already given me my birthday gift; the Edikaikong soup (which everybody including him ate from) and so it was my turn to share gifts.
My mum and kid sister joined the conversation trying to persuade my dad to order me some ‘choppingsons’ (fast food) if it was impossible to go out cos of the lockdown and my dad, being my dad kept arguing about it.
My mum got mildly agitated at some point and left to her room, my siblings and I kept gingering my father that he should do something before my mum would vex and show working. Lol
At this instance, my mum came out with her cheque book, sat down in the living room and wrote me a cheque of N20,000 naira not-small-money. Omo! There was joy in heaven and on earth cos the house literally shook from jubilation even my dad could not hide his smile.
Being as dramatic as ever, I rendered some freshly-released-by-me songs to my mother to praise her for her feat. I even came to her seat to ‘tuale’ and shake my small waist for my ‘oga boss mom’...lol. (As a Port-Harcourt breed concerned, you know my whining and cappings no be here…haha)
My dad already defeated told me to go and take my bath first so that he’ll take me out. I excitedly jumped into the bathroom, thinking about going to the bank with my check whilst singing one of my E.Ps. Afterwards, I put on a brand new gown, wore a short wig, some basic jewellery and a pair of mules for the fun of it. Sat on a couch in the living room, still receiving calls and replying messages (and lowkey waiting for my father to show up…just cos I know my dad plays too much, lol)
My dad who also went to take his bath was not out by 5pm, at this point, it dawned on me that
I was scammed he was only pulling my legs. Hei God! Just then my brother and his friend proceeded from their room to the living room carrying packed polythene bags and a box of cake and started setting things up in my ‘very before’ just in front of me.
Ehhh, who dey, who dey breathe?! Definitely not Golibe as I was even forced to ask ‘who’s doing this buyday?’ I was so….what is the word now. Ha! I was moving all over the place, dancing to a rhythm only I could hear, saying lots of funny things I can’t even remember and when the ‘parry‘ started in earnest and I was asked to cut my cake, my Maraji&Josh2funny alter ego was already ‘ready’ to ‘premiumly’ entertain my family.
After the cake cutting and sharing of the grilled chicken, drinks etc, my siblings and I moved outside for some pictures. I’m the goofiest child on a regular so imagine me being excited…lol, it’s a Caramel_plug banger. Haha!
I need to mention that my dad was prestigiously sitting in the living room at the point when my brother arrived, where he came out from, I can’t say, he was just doing ‘ayh ayh’, acting more surprised than the celebrant and requesting that I give him his share of the chicken before he goes out for his evening walk…lol.
Anyways found out that the whole orchestration was funded by my mum, siblings and friend…bless them. The gesture really made me glad and doing that surprise right under my nose made me even happier. I got my Big Kitchen’s bundle of joy after all (literally), a cake, some cash, my first cheque and my best birthday!!!
Thanks for reading.
My birthday is in less than 7 days and I made a wish list from which you could gift me…I’m open minded about it, so I wouldn’t also hurt if I don’t get to tick anything off but it would be terrible if I don’t, so do justice😉 (Tap on this to get the link).
**Bras– Blog Readers Association
**Cashfident– Money loaded, Cash confident
**PiggyVest– An app I use for savings and investment. Shoot me a mail if need help manoeuvring it
**Turnt up– Turned up, hyped
**Super duper charged– Up and ready, hyperactive
**Goons– Pidgin English for ‘my guys’
**Edikaikong soup– A kind of vegetable soup made with afang, pumpkin and water leaves particular to the Ibibios and Efiks.
**Tuale– Paying respects
**Whinings/Cappings– Sweet talking, praises in PH pidgin
**E.P– Extended Play
**Buyday– Pidgin English for ‘birthday’
**Maraji, Josh2Funny, Caramel_plug– These are 3 different humorous personalities on Instagram